Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Just because you're paranoid...

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not watching you." -Kurt Cobain

Warning: lots of discussion about bacteria, vaginas, and various forms of bodily excretions.

Sometime ago, I blogged about bleeding in between periods all of a sudden. Well, actually, it's just during and after sex. Some of my blogger buddies as well as pretty much everyone else I told said "that's normal, no worries". I worried anyway. I had never had this problem before, and now that we were trying to conceive it became an issue.

Granted, I am hyper-paranoid. While off my meds, worrying has been taken on as a new art form for me. I really, really need my meds, so any thought of extending my stay here in Crazyville (due to an inability to conceive) is quite literally terrifying. It's not just an uncomfortable way of living, as so many seem to believe. It's a constant fight to stay alive. I wish I was exaggerating. Lately, I just want to curl up into the tightest ball and fade away into oblivion. I don't want to freak you all out with the "S" word though. That's not quite where I am at, and believe me I would know, as I have visited before. No, I just want everything to go away, especially me. Laziness keeps me from being proactive on this idea though. So please don't worry or send an ambulance. I will survive to post again, I promise.

Back to being paranoid. I finally landed an appointment with a new OB/GYN for yesterday. Initially, I thought I was being ridiculous for going to see the doctor for such a little thing; I was sure he would laugh me right out of his office when I told him that we had been trying for only a few months. He never laughed and took me quite seriously. Once I listed all of my symptoms, he was quick to confirm that I do in fact have a valid concern. I am sure that some of you know the result, but I will outline it anyway because who can resist writing about sex, cooters, and fishy odors.

Here's the run down... Bleeding with intercourse, Husband notices a funky smell coming from my nether reaches after a romp, no conception despite carefully timed frolicks. After a brief ride in the stirrups, I had my answer. I may be paranoid, but there was still something fishy in Cooterville. Bacterial vaginosis. Just rolls off the tongue doesn't it? Turns out the bad bacteria doesn't do so well in my acid bath of a vagina, but once semen enters the room, it's party time. The more basic semen neutralizes the acidity, and the bacteria multiply exponentially (at least somebody is reproducing in there). Those bacteria rage on and make a chemical that results in the same smell as the fish department in our low end grocery store. Not only does it turn my stomach, but that fishy chemical is killing our precious sperm. Bastards!!!!

As you can imagine, I was absolutely thrilled that the doc had an answer and a prescription for me. Husband looked mighty relieved as well. I think he's terrified that we will have to do a semen analysis. I don't blame him, if I had to come to orgasm at the doctor's office to check my fertility, it would never happen. Too much pressure.

Here's the drawback to my new med, no drinking. Crisis. Apparently, my med has that same sneaky little ingredient that they give to alcoholics to keep them from drinking. Just one sip of alcohol and I will be a regular visitor of the most valuable bowl in the house, the porcelain one. Oh how I love my wine with dinner too. Plus, no sex for me either until the infection is gone. Horny and sober, how will I survive?

12 comments:

Not so little sister said...

Good luck! I know you can do it. Maybe you'll be in baby land once the antibiotics are done!

Dino aka Katy said...

well at least you weren't paranoid. so take your meds, stay off sex and alcohol and who knows maybe we both will be pregnant soon. I keep my fingers crossed for both of us :)

Jenny F. Scientist (aka JF) said...

OOOOOK. That is all I have to say. Deepest sympathies on the alcohol (my meds say that too, but fortunately, they don't mean it.)

Renee said...

sounds like you've conqured a few things with one visit... the bleeding, the smell & the inability to conceive. To me that sounds great. I usually end up going in for one thing that they totally ignore and they find another thing. *sigh*

yeah the no wine sucks, but you won't be able to drink once you're pregnant anyway...might as well get ready now.

Best of luck in a future pitter patter!

Emilija said...

No meds, no sex, no alcohol. What fun! Just remember it's temporary. And all for a good cause.

Aurelia said...

Well, I'm glad you went to see him! Too bad about the lack of wine, though. Good thing it's temporary!
And now for another idea...is the hubby getting checked too? I can't remember if BV is sexually transmitted, but definitely ask someone if he needs to get a scrip. Or you could be right back where you started. In smellyville. ;)
Do reassure him BTW, that if a SA is ever needed most docs will let him do a "sample" at home in a sterile container and transport it to the lab.

Sarah said...

Hi Nicole... Just wanted to stop by and say hi. My (comparatively) minor experiences with depression let me feel like I could relate to the feeling you talked about ... about wanting to curl up in a ball and have everything go away... I'm there a lot too.

I hope the anitbiotics help fix all of your vag ina related issues and that you will be able to get pregnant easily and quickly! I'll be back to see how everything is going.

Ol' Lady said...

Thanks for sharing :p
Hope it all works out for you.
Can't comment on the no drinking as I don't drink, but the no sex! Dam that sucks...or...never mind...
Depression is not fun, but like I have said before it is a rollar coaster ride having bipolar so hang on...it will go up soon :)

The Town Criers said...

I am pouring you a big glass of something non-alcoholic (especially because I'd hate to have you vomiting).

I wish I could speed up winter. I wish I could magically place you in a different space in regards to all your endeavours. I wish I could magically take mental illness out of the mix as well as conception problems.

Since I can't, I'll just listen. Give a virtual hug.

Sara said...

The particulars here sound mighty unpleasant, but this is actually quite a positive development, detecting a problem AND solving it. I hope your antibiotics are the super powerful short-course ones so you can get back to business ASAP. You and hubby have some celebrating to do!

Mom, Interrupted said...

Yeah I can imagine a nice glass of wine sounds good right now. Your honest post did good justice to scard-ey cat, whimpy women everywhere who would sit stinky, too afraid to go to the doc.
....it can happen to us all ...;)

TInk said...

Just remember... with every downer in life, there's always a breakthrough. The clouds part and you can see the sun again. Too much of a metaphor, but heck... I love 'em!

Sorry to hear that you're horny and can't drink. A double whammy! It'll all be worth it in the end though. Hang in there, and now distract your horniness with some exercising! :D