I had big plans to have lunch with a friend today. I love hanging out with her and was looking forward to being propelled to leave the house. As we only have one car, if I don't have anywhere to go on a particular day, Husband just takes the car to work instead of having me drop him off. Keeps me from wandering around town and spending money. So I haven't left the house for 3 days because I haven't had the car. Unfortunately, we had to cancel the lunch for the day for other reasons, thus Husband took the car again. So here I sit staring at my "to do" list and thinking that I should change it's name to a "to don't" list.
Priority One is to work on finding a job for the summer. Sadly, just the thought of looking for employment, sends me into fetal position, drooling on the couch. I have no confidence left. I just can't bring myself to go through and come up with a list of firms to send resumes. Plus, I have to write cover letters which sing my praises and tell them why I would make a great addition to their staff. No praises come to mind and I have no idea why anyone would want to add me to their staff. I'm stuck. I have an appointment with the career counselor, Ms. Ina Propriate. I have grown to hate this woman, but maybe she will have something to contribute. Gotta start somewhere, I suppose.
In the meantime, I have been cleaning like I've never cleaned before. What a pathetic life I have at times when cleaning and organizing are the only things that hold my attention for any duration of time. Otherwise, I sit on the couch, twitching my head in different directions the same way a bird does between hops among the branches while surveying the scene. It's a bit of the manic in me leaking through. That and the pot of coffee.
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After over five years of being heavily medicated for my bipolar illness, I am just crazy enough to go off the meds and try to conceive. With a whole team of professionals monitoring my progress and an amazingly compassionate husband to catch me when I fall, I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. This is my journey through the insane process...
Pepper in the pond.
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- Nicole
- Crazyville, New York State, United States
- 30-something, over-educated, and bipolar crazy woman with a bicornuate uterus and a baby...Who'd a thunk it?
Back off man, I'm a scientist
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17 comments:
okay I am sure there are plenty of things you can contribute to any staff. Why not start somewhere just to start and work your way up. My hubby started to work at 7/11 while in school jsut to get some extra money - right now he is training to be assistant manager of the entire store its been less than a year. its money but more important a sense of self. He loves moving up and accomplishing somehing.
I don't know what kind of firms you have been applying to? Law? Finance? Pure biotech? I'm assuming that you have covered most of them.
Have you thought about switching to another area totally, like govt. (but biotech) or hedge fund/pension fund (biotech consulting)?
I just know someone who had a history PhD and he worked for the Ministry of Defense for about 4 years, until he got a tenured position at a university.
Govt. wasn't exactly what he wanted but it was interesting work, and it paid well, benefits, etc.
I don't know if you can use this assvice, but I'm cheering you on anyway.
And please explain a bit more...we're all curious.
Don't beat yourself up, Nicole. You scheduled the appointment, right? That's something, progress, if you will. Cling to it! And a clean house is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm looking for work, too, but is my house clean? Nope. I haven't even taken down the tree yet. Dust and needles everywhere. Why, next to me, you are a shining example of productivity.
Well try again -its like anything else - its not over just cuz of one mistake. PD hope you like my photo
Well, here I am playing with the Internets when I should be painting or unpacking. But it's so nice to have cable again.
Also cheering for you!
You can always shop online, no reason why lack of a car should put the brakes on shopping!
Nice layout, Nicole.
Cleaning and organizing is a good thing, if you are working at home.
Enjoyed my visit.
Personally, I may be in my early 30s but I like to take part time jobs at Taco Bell or whatever. Why? Because then I get to eat their food every time I work and it's either half off or free :)
There has to be a job somewhere. Maybe not in the kind of firm you envisioned, but there will be one. And I'm sure the Evil Counselor will have some ideas...
Wanna come help me take down my freakin' tree? We insulated on Sunday instead of dismantling Christmas, and now the kids protest vigourously when I say we need to get rid of it. And its not dropping needles yet!
Maybe some more exercising will help to motivate you?
Including more time to think while working out, don't worry about it! Heck, I wish I could be at home to take care of the house and all that! I feel like I work too much. We all wish that the other side of the grass was greener, don't we?
Hang in there, I'm your your meeting with 'Ms. Ina Proporiate' will go just fine. You've got a lot to offer!
I'm bipolar too and can't imagine coming off my meds. I'm still only 19 at the moment but I really want children when I'm older and I think about it a lot. I'll be reading your blog if that's okay.
I got excited when I read the phrase "cleaning like I've never cleaned before".
I'm easy like that.
Now, for a little more exercising. :)
Aieee! Don't get discouraged!
(I get discouraged!)
I am working on a book for my granddaughter and a novel. That keep my attention when I am not wandering the net, LOL!
But lunch with a friend is so importnat, hope you get it soon!
For the cost of a couple of those lunches you could have a professional do your resume and make you a cover letter template. Sit down with that person for a few minutes, and they do the hard stuff. Then you fill in the blanks and send them out!
Nicole, you are so comical! I can picture you drinking coffee while sitting on the couch twitching your head like a bird!
Cleaning house is my salvation. Lately, it's all I can do that makes me feel good about myself.
When we compare ourselves to others, it can really bring us down. I think that having a blog is extremely good for you. I'm glad I met you!
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