Friday, January 5, 2007
More medication, please.
During the two week wait, I drive myself bonkers, more than usual in fact. I just can't seem to convince myself to relax and give it the full year I am supposed to give to the effort of trying to conceive. I am acutely aware of some of my blogosphere friends and reads that would likely laugh me out of the web for wallowing in sorrow in only the first few months of trying. Only a few people understand by personal experience, the incredible challenge of going off your meds. My mind feels a bit clearer in some aspects, as a result of dropping so many of my prescriptions in order to increase my chances of conceiving a fetus without neural tube defects. However, in so many other ways, my mind, including emotions, thoughts, organization, logic, is intensely disturbed and clouded. It's painful. Every failure each month guarantees an extra month of this same pain. My husband gave me in my stocking an awesome magnet to hang on the fridge. It's one of those Anne Taintor creations with the words, "More medication, please." Love this magnet, and the words have stuck with me. I would really really like some more medication, please.