Thursday, December 21, 2006

All THOSE people want for Christmas

Had a long discussion with my therapist today about how to talk about my lack of job offers when the in-laws ask about it this weekend. I have been avoiding them and anyone else who would potentially ask about my rather pathetic job situation. The thing is that if you have to ask then I haven't already told you about it. If I haven't already discussed it with you, then I don't want to or intend on discussing it with you. With the exception of a few people, I haven't talked to most of my so-called friends and family about it for a very good reason. THOSE people are the ones who get off on my misery and this includes the in-laws. I seem to have a lot of THOSE people in my life actually. In fact, I think that's all they want for Christmas this year is to hear about unfortunate events in my life. So because I am feeling a need to give, I think I will let them have what they want, my misery. It's a great year from THOSE people, Santa was generous this year. Here's a few fun time misery gifts the in-laws will get in their stocking on Christmas Eve...

1. Nope, no job offers. I am 0 for 6. Wow,school has a been great investment for me so far. So if you were angry that I got into the school of my choice, then revel in my $80,000 school loan load combined with no job.

2. Not enough for you? How about the fact that my dog died this year.

3. Still feeling deprived? My grandfather died too.

4. Back for more? Good thing I am well stocked... Not pregnant yet and bleeding in between periods. Sorry no confirmed diseases or cancers yet, but wait a month or two and I will see what I can do; my doctor couldn't get me in until mid-January.

5. Don't walk away yet, there's more... My bank account is $600 in the hole right now and counting.

6. Even our appliances hate me... Our microwave finally crapped out on us after repeatedly beeping at random intervals and then flashing the number 6:66 over and over again. I kid you not.

7. The new microwave we purchased blew up after one whole week.

8. No, we didn't purchase the extended warranty and no it cannot be fixed.

9. I have long curly black hairs growing out of my chin and out of the mole of my face! ON MY FACE DAMNIT!!!

10. And for the grande finale... the JRT ate all but one pair of my underwear. Why did she spare a single pair? Because I was still wearing them.

I could go on but I really don't want to spoil you. Let's leave some for your birthday. Merry Christmas!


Barbara said...

Exercise will boost your mood.

Barbara said...

Endorphins are sort of like a drug.

Barbara said...

Christmas is coming!

E said...

Just Crazy Enough to Succeed.

Aurelia said...

Would it help to say, "The mole can be plucked!" For free...lame joke. :)
And hey, lots of people bleed in between periods, just a touch.

Is it your period that came, or just spotting, btw. I'm slightly confused by that.