Sunday, January 14, 2007

It's hard to be my husband.

This is definitely going to be filed under the label, "Posts My Husband Hates". So hopefully, I will remember to warn him about it before I actually publish it. In case I forget, I will apologize deeply to him now...but I'm writing it anyway.

I am convinced that for most things my husband and I do together, his preferences tend to dominate the arena. Not that I don't get to do what I want, I do. But, as those who have lived with someone before knows, compromise is essential for peaceful living. And, I get a lot out of giving to him (not just giving in to him). So ultimately, I will lean to his preferences out of pure selfishness; let's face it, I lean to make myself feel good. No doubt I shouldn't whine when it's really my choice, but on occasion I get a bit torqued when I perceive the tilt as being a little too steep.

So last night, I started in on him, poor guy. Our Netf.lix had arrived and one of them was a horror film. In fairness, he chose this film for the other category it was in, court room drama, which he knows I like very much. Unfortunately, I hate horror films, they give me nightmares. I can handle gory, but I don't sleep well after scary. Once I got a whiff of the horror element, I was none too pleased with his choice. I complained that ultimately we watch more DVDs that he enjoys than DVDs I enjoy. He was quick to protest.

Now that I was rolling, I added that his preferences are honored with a greater frequency than mine...not that I minded, but still. Admittedly, I was out of line, but I kept going. I asserted that if we sat down and quantified the situation, my point would be obvious and quite factual. While we couldn't count up all of the meals, snacks, music, and other entertainment that were chosen mostly based on his preference, we did have access to our DVD rental history via the handy, dandy Internet. And so the tally began.

Here's the score over a period of just over 3 years...
  • 264 total movies rented and counted
  • 175 movies that we were both willing to admit we would watch even if the other wasn't around (66%)
  • 37 movies that I claimed, and Husband refused to claim (14%)
  • 52 movies that Husband claimed, and I wouldn't watch on my own accord (20%)
The final result...a 15 movie differential between the two of us over 3 years of renting. Not exactly the dramatic stats I needed to justify my claim. Sure he gets greater number of DVDs than I do, but it's not the type of favoritism about which I was clamouring. At least we've got the numbers..., why was that important again?

It really is hard to be my husband.


Dino aka Katy said...

my hubby is good about getting movies I watch too. ia m the villian but I don't make him watch them and he doesn't make me watch them

Ol' Lady said...

I can so relate...movies, tv shows, actually anything that has to do with the tv, Ol Man rules the remote (I think it is an extension of their penis). If I go to bed first I put the tv on in the bedroom to something that I want to watch as he is in the living room watching something that I am not interested in. When he comes to bed he automatically takes the remote and changes the channel to what ever he wants even if it is in the middle of what I am watching! Over the years I have just learned that anything to do with the tv belongs to him. I find that there are so many other things that I go 'wacko' about that I leave him alone over this one. Actually if I was married to me I would have put a pillow over my face in the night long ago...

Sara said...


I'm the one who decided to subscribe to Netflix, I'm the one who has the queue set up, and I"m the one who decides what's coming next - though I usually ask him if he has any preferences.

But then again, where we live, when we take vacations, and when I can get out of the house without the kids are all pretty much determined by him and his schedule. Netflix is small potatos compared to that...

Barbara said...

It's easy living with someone who admits mistakes.

Aurelia said...

Actually since it's your blog, I believe you have the right to change the numbers any old way you want.
If he wants to make an argument let him get a blog. On this blog my friend, you get to be right, you get to be perfect, and you get to be the easy to live with spouse.
And I'm only sort of kidding, actually.
Seriously, you're the one going through unpleasantry in order give him an heir and a spare. So far, all he's had to do is have a few orgasms. He can suffer a few chick flicks. :)
(Yes, I know you want a kid too, but there is an unfair division of labour involved so to speak, you should rank somewhere!)

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

It's hard to be my husband, too, but not for the same reasons! I think I mostly get my way, poor boy. And because of my insomnia, I get really grum,py more often than I'd like to admit.

I hope you gave him lots of kisses and hugs later.

she said...

I'm apparently very lucky in this arena. In the last year, I've watched a grand total of 1 movie that the hubby had no interest in (and I saw it in a foreign country - so he didn't have to sit through it) and he's watched 2 I had no interested in. I went shopping instead.

JF, scientist said...

Wow. I'm, um, amazed at your... persistence.

I feel a bit the same about my darling spouse (though it's always about cooking). Why am I making dinner again? Right, because I got home five hours earlier and he did the dishes a week running. Ah.

It's a good thing there are so many patient spouses out there. I would definitely kill me if I were my spouse.

Sara said...

I'm so with you in the loathing of horror movies... they are the only type of film I absolutely, positively refuse to watch. I will stick my fingers in my ears, scream LALALALA, and run upstairs to hide and sulk. SodaBoy doesn't even bother trying to convince me anymore, he just waits for me to go to bed.

I think it's the cheesy scary music that freaks me out so much. We have determined that he can elicit the same response on the guitar. I just got one of those spine shivers now just thinking about it!

Barbara said...

Another comment to exercise to!

Sunflower said...

How is your exercise going?

To continue promoting healthy blogger lifestyle, I am going to post our Healthy Blogger Pledge every Monday. Currently 18 bloggers have joined us. I will specially visit and comment our participants every Monday, to push them exercise more and to attract more participants!

This minute is for all of us!

I will Exercise for Comments!

TInk said...

I hear where you're coming from. All women feel the need to be queen of the world sometimes. Heck, I do anyway! Compromise can be a bi*&#h at times, hugh?

It's alright... just don't forget to excersize!! :D