So, after all the whining and complaining that I put you all through in every one of my posts, I thought you could all use some good news for a change. And hey, so could I.
I woke up this morning in a terrible mood. Terrible. Bad dreams really seem to set the tone for the day, even if I can't remember the details of those nightmares. Sometimes later in the day I recall something and am not sure whether it happened in the dream or not. Take yesterday for instance. I approached Husband and asked whether he told me to stop whining about being so tired all the time and to just keep it to myself. No, he did not tell me that in real life, it was indeed part of a dream. But I had so much trouble shaking the thought.
Anyway, I was equipped with horns this morning and not happy about yet another week of classes ahead of me. By the time I got to campus I was consumed by the knowledge that I had not yet heard back from the leg@l clinic I interviewed with last Monday, despite the fact that they said they would contact me by now. Sure that I had not received an offer, I pretty much stomped around all day wondering why the hell I was even continuing to go to class if I was unemployable. Hell, why did I even get out of bed?
And then a miracle occurred. At 4pm today, I got a phone call from the clinic and they offered me the summer position!!!!!!! I cannot quite contain my excitement. While the position is not paid, I will be able to get a public interest grant from my school to allow me to survive the summer, AND I will be doing the work that I really want to do. AWESOME!!!!
And because I cannot help but worry about the next thing, I leave you with my newest anxiety issue of the moment. How in the world am I going to give birth and care for a newborn in the first few months (assuming this pregnancy actually sticks and gives me one of those take home babies) while I am smack dab in the middle of Fall semester of l@w school? I can barely handle this stuff as is. Thoughts anyone?
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After over five years of being heavily medicated for my bipolar illness, I am just crazy enough to go off the meds and try to conceive. With a whole team of professionals monitoring my progress and an amazingly compassionate husband to catch me when I fall, I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. This is my journey through the insane process...
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19 comments:
Yay about the summer position! That is wonderful news. Hmm, about the fall semester? Maybe think about taking the fall semester off and continuing to work at the clinic (more funding from school maybe?) for even more experience?
Yayy about the job! That is brilliant. Great great news.
As for the fall, yes, I have to say that I cannot quite picture you giving birth during la school. Reality is that even if you give birth exactly on your due date, you will need time to recover, and if you want to breastfeed, you need to get that established properly before you take a pump to school. (which is totally do-able, just not for the first 6 weeks IMO)
And the big elephant in the room; how will your bipolar react to all the hormones swirling around in your head right after you give birth? You may need some time to adjust meds, and get yourself on an even keel.
Do they have a family life office there?
omgggggggggggg yeah, yeah yeah!!! Who cares about the worrying? That will take care of itself, enjoy the moment!
ps...okay, who am I fooling? you worry exactly the same way I do, about EVERYTHING! And if there's nothing to worry about, we will FIND something to worry about dammit! I think it's so nothing catches us off guard, except the good stuff & then we're floored! But not floored so long that we interrupt our worrying! lol
Sound familiar?
That's so awesome about the summer position, Nicole. I am so happy for you! It's funny how not finding a job earlier was causing you so much stress and worry, but now you've found this one which you will prolly like a whole lot better anyway. And good news on the grant from school to help cover bills, too.
I think I'd be tempted to take the fall semester off from l@w school, but I don't know enough about the situation to say if it'd be feasible. There is so much to worry about when starting a family--I think your concerns are perfectly natural.
Yay! again on the summer job.
Nicole...that is great! If it were me, I would take off the Fall semester...but...then again...maybe I wouldn't! It is a tough call! Do you have to make the decision right now? Can you enjoy this moment for a minute before you start to think about the fall? I am no help...I worry about what is going to happen in a year from now...relish in the moment my new friend! Congrats!
w00t! Great news!
As to your other question. I don't know. The first weeks of motherhood are not so much about the physical recovery from birth as they are about a huge psychological and hormonal adaption. And you don't know what its gonna be like or how it will affect you specficially until you're in the middle of it....
For now, I'm voting "cross that bridge when its closer." But that's just my assvice.
Yay, congrats!
Awesome, congratulations on the job!!!
Would you be able to take some time off from school? You might just need it with a newborn on your hands. It will all work out though, you'll see.
Congratulations Nicole! I knew the perfect job was waiting for you. You will do it all one day at a time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! You totally hit it out of the park and they were dazzled by your brilliance! If I can just say for a minute: I told you so! Ahem. Now that my little self-congratulatory moment is over, let's get back to you. Since that's who this very entertaining blog is all about.
Will you be in your 2nd or 3rd year in the Fall? If it's your 2nd, I would suggest (like alot of people have here already) that you take the semester off. If it's your 3rd, you might be able to get through it with a newborn, unless you load yourself down with a bunch of extracurricular stuff like journal and clinic. As you already know, l@w school is an ass-kicking mind f*ck. And first-time motherhood is a similarly life-changing, overwhelming experience. I think back on what it was like when we first brought my son home, then I think about what law school was like, and the thought of them happening at the same time makes. my. heart. stop. dead. in. my. chest. And Aurelia is right on when she mentions the hormones and your meds. Hmmm. The more I think about it, a semester off, no matter what year you're in, just might be the right option. Email me directly if you want to talk about it a bit more.
Congrats again on the summer gig. That totally rocks.
yeahhhh you got the summer job awesome
as for the kid - you can always get an Au pair if you ahve the room email me if you need more info on it. otherwise does the school have a daycare center? family near by? there are always people offering childcare in the paper or on craigslist ....
Congrats on the summer job. It's about time things were turning around for you!
I'm agreeing with aurelia... seriously consider taking a sememster off. Once you have the baby everything in your life is going to change and you'll need to adjust. Perhaps you can get the books you'll need for that sememster and be able to read them while you're taking a break from school...it might give you a head start on the next sememster. You'll also have more time to sort out child care for when you do return. While I've seen a student at college with her baby, she and her twin sister took turns taking care of the baby (one in class, one with the baby) so that she could finish her degree.
Congrats on the summer job!!! Yippee!
Oh wait...I was supposed to talk about DD's blog that isn't going to happen.
Yeah, it would be great if there were a safe blogosphere for kids...but every time someone starts one up perverts creap in there pretending to be kids and ruin the whole deal.
When are the pervs going to stop using the internet as a supermarket? *sigh*
First, yeah! Second, semester off. Sorry. Incompletes are a bitch. For me at least.
Yippee, Nicole! That's so great about the job. You rock.
Woo-hoo! Congratulations! That's wonderful! And money. See, they think you're awesome.
A few thoughts on school and kids (not that I have any)- sometimes you can take a month or two off and take incompletes, especially if there's something about your loans that wouldn't work with taking a semester off. You might be able to get a medical leave, alternatively. Some universities have family leave policies for grad/prof students, though of course you always have to negotiate with the dean.
(Since I just did a ton of research on childcare...) if you're thinking of uni-run childcare you might want to put your name on the waiting list now. You can always take it off later if you change your mind, but if you don't sign up now, I'm taking a wild guess you won't get a slot until the kid's in kindergarten.
If you can afford to have someone clean your house (usually about $50/week) I know that helps with general overwhelm-ment.
I believe your university has a university-only babysitting database, for occasional care or whatever. That could help too.
But really, you'll work it out. You're smart and resourceful and please don't get too overwhelmed yet! I do the same thing- worry ad infinitum in advance, because at the time isn't enough, y'know- so I speak from experience here: it'll be okay.
Great work and I'm happy you have some happy news. :) I emailed you, I know you're busy but read it when you can! Hugs.
that is wonderful about the job :)
I went back to college full time when Baby was born (at 6 weeks) I also suffered from PPD very bad, and I was not medicated for anything, I made it...you can too. my ex worked shifts and we had a nanny (young woman) part time, there were days when we would meet at a coffee shop to pass Baby off while one was coming home and one was leaving...it all works out.
if you have to take a term off, it won't be the end of the world.
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