Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Let it grow

Once upon a time, I was a very very high maintenance woman, in the aesthetic sense. I am still pretty high maintenance in every other sense, but aesthetics fell to the side right around the time my boobs did.

My 3 sisters are high fashion extremists. They all fret constantly over all manners of their epidermis including their weight, the color of their hair, the quantity of their body hair, their nails and their make-up. Once I left California, all of this stuff just didn't seem important anymore. Granted I live in the land of granola, but I think there is more to it than that. Admittedly, when I go back to California to torture myself with family, I regain the self conscious feeling over my looks. Suddenly I am not so confident about my choice to go natural. Of course, it doesn't help that my mother never fails to mention how good my hair would look with some highlights. And my sister Anne asks me if I want her to wax my eyebrows. Then, Beth slyly asks if she can try some of her make-up on me. And when I put on a pair of shorts, Carrie rolls her eyes and makes gagging sounds upon seeing my hairy legs. So the grand support of the sisterhood doesn't do much for my confidence.

And then they start in about questions about their own looks. "Should I dye my hair? Should I have my lips done? Do I need botox? I need a boob job. I need a breast reduction. Perhaps I should have eyeliner tattooed on my eyelids. I need laser surgery for my wrinkles. My fake nails are coming off, I MUST get in to see my manicurist." It goes on and on and on.

I am thinking about all of this for multiple reasons. The Oneliner has a fabulous post about her va-ja-ja and the fear of the chewbaca look. I have never, even in my most high maintenance of Cali days, considered a waxing. But now that frequent cooter appointments loom ahead I have started to think about some pretty landscaping down there. At the very end of my previous marriage, the boy started hinting that perhaps a full waxing might be nice on me. That should have been my first indication that he was keenly attracted to very young women, like his 19 year old girlfriend for instance. My current husband seems to be a bit repulsed by the adolescent look of a hairless cooter, and I am so grateful for that.

But now, I keep thinking, do I really want my doctor to be scared of going near the wild and overgrown landscape I have going on? Am I the only one not getting a good mowing? And the fact that I don't shave my legs adds to the concern. So now, I am starting to think like my sisters a bit, but only from the waste down. Is it time for a good waxing to clear the brush? Do I need a pedicure before every pelvic exam? My toes are not attractive even with a good pedicure though, so do I really want to draw attention to them with colored nail polish. Funny that when I go au naturale at the beach or an allowing spa resort, I don't even consider it, but put me in a doctor's office only half clothed and I get self conscious.


Not so little sister said...

Oh, I feel your pain. I must.always.look presentable when going to an appointment, but otherwise don't care all that much.

And I waxed once. For my honeymoon but it was because I get bad razor burn and I was to be wearing a bikini for a week. I didn't get the whole sha bang done. Yikes. And Ouch.

Aurelia said...

First, let's all remember that hair exists for a reason. Always leave a tiny bit in the middle to protect the bits & prevent urethritis. Seriously.not.freakin.kidding.

Also careful about hot wax on pregnant feet. I was just getting a pedicure at the end of my first pregnancy, and the too warm wax just about burned my feet off. Don't know why, high BP? Cold wax or sugar if you do it then and you can avoid my agony.

I've done waxing hmm on the *sideburns*, and corners and umm legs, but never really much farther because it hurts like hell on the sensitive parts. Legs, not that bad a pain.

As for the rest, well, I always liked to pamper myself when preggers because it made me feel happier, even when tired. So maybe just do what makes you happy?

BerryBird said...

I have never done any waxing, for several reasons, I guess. First of all, because it scares the crap out of me. Second of all, I have never been able to master all that looking pretty business. I wash my hair, and I condition it, and I brush it. No make-up, no perfume, no product of any kind, no fingernails, no beauty regiment whatsoever. Not for me. So I am not the best one to weigh in with advice here. I am just too damn lazy. Plus scents screw up my sinuses and make-up makes me itch. I trim down below with scissors occasionally, but that's as close to hot wax as you'll get me.

But on the pedicure/leg hair issue... wear knee high socks to the cooter doc. I always leave the socks on when I climb into the stirrups. Doc is getting a good enough look. He doesn't need to see my feet, too.

Sara said...

okay, remember where you live. Practitioners here have seen EVERYTHING. Really.

Second, to extend aurelia's comment, it has been found that people who completely deforest the region before delivering have a higher infection rate in any localized "Flesh wounds" than people who don't. Just something to consider.

Another consideration, especially on the waxing. Increased blood flow to the area makes pain in the region more painful. Or so I've been told. I wasn't crazy enough to head in that direction with hot wax.

There were women on my pregnancy board who were so freaked out abotu being hairy that they got their young children to shave their legs for them before appoitnments, and their husbands to shave their other places. YICK.

Dream Writer said...

I was never so worried about my weight, looks, or anything for a very long time and then...I hit 40!!

Gravity kicked in, grays started showing, and I was not a happy camper!

I don't have to dye my hair just yet :) But I do wax my eye brows and once in a blue moon I will get my nails done (Acrylic)..

Oprah had a good show on yesterday about "Growing Old!" I am NOW so concerned about my weight...but not that much :)

Bikini wax - NEVER! That will never happen :)

Adrienne said...

Think of it this way: if you add too much tinsel to the tree (or thin it's branches too much), the doc will spend too much time looking at the forest instead of what s/he's really there for! Focus, people, s/he needs to focus!

Dino aka Katy said...

no way waxing there are you nuts? I had my eyebrows done once and it hurt like hell there is now way I'd go down there with it. I do trim - i try to avoid shaving - I tend to only do it every few weeks. I have to in the summer when I work at busch gardens but since my hair is strawberry blond I can wait a bit

Cibele said...

I am Brazilian.. so I am all for a good Brazilian wax! but you should do what you feel most comfortable with

marlena rivers said...

i wondered about that too, what with going to the dr. a lot these days, but decided i didn't give a shit in the end. by the way as things continue, they'll be more focused on doing a sonogram on your belly and you won't always have to be showing yourself in full glory at the doctor's anyway.
do whatever is comfortable. maybe take the money you'd waste on a wax and get a lovey massage! i'd take a massage over a wax of any kind anyday, but i also hate the pain of waxing...

Renee said...

someone has already mentioned that your doc has already seen every kind of thing that can be done down there...piercings, waxings, what not. They don't really care at all.
And frankly after you've been looked at under the hood for the bazillionth time you won't care either.
They put me in the wrong doctor's exam room once and told me to change into a gown...I knew I was supposed to see Dr D and it was Dr S's exam room, but hey, who was I to argue. Luckily I only had my jeans off when they realized the screw up and I could pop them back on fast to move across the hall.

How's this for a word verification cotzfez?

Emilija said...

As a health care provider, I can say, we have seen EVERYTHING. Don't do anything for your doctor's benefit. Do- or don't do- anything that makes you feel comfortable.

I am pretty low-maintanance myself, although I will do my legs and armpits. And occasional eyeliner and lipstick. I'm going on dates this week with new peope, and wondering if they will want someone more "high maintanence." And if they want someone who waxes "down there." Never. It just doesn't seem natural to me.