Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Seeing Red

Around 2pm today I was perusing the baby section of our local K-mart, and I had the distinct feeling that my digestive system was about to kick in. So I ran to the bathroom. For the last day or so, my colon has been on hyperdrive. Reaching the bathroom just in time, I breathed a sigh of relief, and then I saw it. Red. Lots and lots of red. Yup, I was bleeding again, significantly more than before.

Fast forward about a half an hour and I am laying on the table with the dildo cam waiting to see the heartbeat. And, there was no heartbeat to be seen. Doctor didn't feel 100% confident that it wasn't there, but Pooter only measured to 8 weeks and 4 days, about 4 days behind schedule. Not good. No post could possibly describe the way I feel right now. So I will be back tomorrow evening with more info on the follow up ultrasound I have 12 hours from now, with a higher resolution machine and an ultrasound technician. I am convinced that it's over though. Just need to get the go ahead to buy that bottle of scotch.

15 comments:

Marie-Baguette said...

oh no!!! I am so sorry. I really hope it is a false alarm. Thinking of you

My Reality said...

How awful, Nicole. I am hoping for the best for you and Pooter.

Emilija said...

Nicole, I'm holding out hope until you get the next ultrasound. I'm thinking of you, hoping for the best. I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this.

Maggs said...

oh honey. : (

i'm so sorry.

hoping there is a better outcome.

much love...

Adrienne said...

Damn, Nicole, I am holding hope for you that tomorrow's scan shows Pooter's heart beating strongly. We are here for you, sweetie. No matter what.

Aurelia said...

Oh oh oh I'm not even sure what to write.

I'm here for you, anytime, just call. I'll be refreshing like a madwoman in the meantime.

Sara said...

Oh, shit, Nicole.

If there's anything I can do, or that you need, I'm here.

Bumble said...

No no Nicole, no! I don't know what to say at the moment, I'm just waiting and hoping that everything turns out okay with your little one. I'm thinking of you, and we're all here for you. x

Patience said...

Oh Nicole - nononononononono....

Praying for you babe x

Renee said...

Praying for the best.

Sky said...

Oh Nicole, I am so sorry. I am going to hold on to hope until your second scan. I shall be thinking of you and checking in. Take care of yourself.

BerryBird said...

((((Nicole))))

I'm so, so sorry.

Not so little sister said...

We're here for you...

Hoping it's a false alarm.

((((Nicole)))

Dino aka Katy said...

don't buy that bottle yet. we are all hoping for you

Dream Writer said...

I don't know what to say..I am so sorry... I am hoping the best for you and your family.

I am thinking about you.