Friday, March 9, 2007

Quick Trips

The plan was to go to Washington D.C. for a disability l@w conference. We were to leave Wednesday, stay overnight at the cheapest hotel I could find, and then I would go to the conference for the day while Husband explored the Smithsonian. We would reconvene around 5pm and have a lovely dinner somewhere nice. Friday, we would go to the Smithsonian together, specifically the museum of natural history, for the day and leave late afternoon to return home. Such a great plan, if only that's what would have happened.

As I mentioned in my last post, the vaginal bleeding had stopped by Wednesday. So we packed up and left for D.C. By the time we got to the hotel, there was a bit of pink going on down there. All went according to plan the next morning. The conference was very interesting. Then, we broke for lunch and I rushed off to the bathroom with a full bladder. It was then that I found out that I was bleeding again. Quite a bit more this time around. I wonder if the other women in the bathroom could hear my stifled sobs. I tried to call Husband and doctor but for some reason the calls wouldn't go through. So, I proceeded to the catered lunch ahead, but I was an absolute wreck to say the least. As I tried to focus on the buffet table through teary eyes, I almost lost myself right there in the buffet line. EVERY single dish on the table had tons of Gorgonzola on it. ALL of them. I was stunned and given my emotional state really felt the world was against me. Yes, you can see the level of sanity one has when Gorgonzola sends one into hysterics.

So I plopped a roll on my plate and sat down to lunch with 8 eager women talking vigorously about disability issues. Actually, I picked an empty corner table and the chair tucked into the deepest darkest corner of the room. But of course, when I don't want to see anyone is exactly when I become a social magnet. After finishing my lunch roll, I excused myself to try my phone calls again. Finally, I got a hold of Husband to tell him that I couldn't bleed and be at this conference. I needed him by my side. Unfortunately, it had taken him about an hour to walk to the museum from our hotel and would take him at least that long for him to walk back and get the car. By the time he picked me up, about 1 1/2 hours later, he was drenched in sweat from running the 2.5 miles back to the hotel, and then navigating the D.C. streets to get to me.

At that point in my life, that was the sweetest sight I have ever seen. My husband. I did finally get a hold of the nurse at my doctor's office and gave her the full run down of the gory symptoms, all while sitting in the hallway of the conference hall and of course within ear reach of at least a dozen horrified looking people. By that point, I did not give a shit who heard what I said. When I got off the phone, I just wanted to scream out, "Yes, I said discharge and blood, what are you all looking at?" But, I didn't.

Husband and I agreed that we would be going back first thing in the morning to make the noon doctor's appointment I now had. From that point on, I kept thinking about which alcohol I would be drinking first upon hearing the doctor give us the bad news. "I nice port perhaps...a good red, I think I will go with the finest single malt scotch I can find. That should do it. Hmmm, and I wonder if I could find some good her0ine on the streets of D.C. to take home for the party. Surely, I could at least find some crack." Then, I wondered whether I could have had that Gorgonzola after all.

We broke every possible traffic law to get back here for the appointment today. Then, the doctor sat with us and gave us his "this is your first pregnant lady appointment" lecture. And as I sat there, all I could think is, "Don't waste your breath buddy, just stick in the dildo cam so I can see a sonogram of absolutely nothing." And I laid there holding Husband's hand, while the doctor confirmed that my cervix was still closed up tight. Then came my new favorite form of picture making, the dildo cam. And there it was, an apparently healthy, right-sized, peanut of a baby complete with a heartbeat. Unbelievable. So instead of the liquor store, we headed out to pick up our doggies from the kennel. Never a better day was had.


Colette said...

Oh Nicole...what a rollar coaster ride you are on! Good lord! I know what you are feeling...hang in there girl! HUGS AND BLESSINGS

Patience said...


I'm so glad... x

Dino aka Katy said...

see with all of us hoping and praying for you - you are going to sail though that pregnancy no problem!!! Funny we jsut missed eachother in DC - I was there last weekend

Renee said...

Oh I am so glad to hear that peanut is hanging in there! did the doc explain the bleeding at all? I know that you must have been so scared...I sure would have been.

And you were totally right to not care about others hearing your conversation with the nurse. I think that it was rather rude that no one at your table did anything to try to comfort you...of course that probably would have made you break down even more.

hugs hugs and even more hugs!

Aurelia said...

Holy moley, roller coaster woman!!! Oh thank God for dildocams.

And I'm assuming that all the measurements, etc. were bang on and lovely, so did they see any blood anywhere on the screen? (Sometimes, they see a small dark area and can tell if it's shrinking AKA healing over time.)

Dr.Aurelia here wants to know, LOL!

Adrienne said...

Oh, thank G*d! This bleeding needs to stop - what did the doc say? Is this just RUB (random unexplained blood), or could he see something on the ultrasound?

Jackie said...

Oh, Nicole that must have been absolutely agonizing. I hope you have a relaxing weekend ahead of you! Take care, sweetie.

Barbara said...

Nicole - What a roller coaster you've been on. You're due for some smooth sailing. I hope this spotting stops.

Cibele said...

Congratulations, I am was happy to hear that your baby and you are doing fine! Take care and rest

Depressionista said...

Nicole, I have been there! I'm so glad you got good news at the doctor but I wish this whole thing could be easier for you.

I'm curious too, along with Dr. Aurelia, Renee and Adrienne. Maybe a subchorionic bleed? That was the explanation for my six weeks of bleeding with Bubba.

Hang in there!

Emilija said...

Nicole, I'm so glad that your little one is okay! I can't imagine what you are going through. I just hope it gets easier, and less-eventful. Wishing you a very boring pregnancy!

Casey said...

I'm glad it turned out well. You had me worried.

Not so little sister said...

So glad you're okay! And the little peanut is okay too. What a roller coaster though...I hope you have some good down time this weekend.

Nadine said...

Phew. Bigtime phew.

And lots of hugs.

Ol' Lady said...

I feel much better now knowin that you and your little package are fine.
Get lots of will be needin it soon enough :)

Cherlee's said...

First of all Congrats on your little bundle. I was reading your post and I'm so sorry your going through all this.

2o years ago when I was pregnant for my daughter I had bleeding up until I was 6 months pregnant they told me it was like a period because I always had such a heavy flow it didn't want to stop. lol

Everything turned out fine and now my daughter is going to make me a grandmother in August. So hun your doing wonderful.

I'm sending only good vibes and happiness your way!

BerryBird said...

I'm sorry you missed the natural history museum, that is definitely something I would be excited to see. But I don't blame you one bit for driving home to get the earliest possible appointment. What scary times this little peanut is putting you through. I am so happy the dildocam revealed a healthy little heartbeat.

Bumble said...

Whew Nicole, I'm so sorry you had such a stressful day. I'm happy you got to see your healthy little one on screen. Hoping the bleeding stops soon, did he say what was causing it?
Look after yourself okay xxx

Terra: said...

I remember exactly what you are going through. Never a more splendid day to see my "Peanut", who is now a 6 year old sweet angel boy.
HUGS to you!

marlena rivers said...

hi. wow. what a post. while reading your plans for the drinks and drugs i had a sneaking feeling in my head that you'd find out that all was still growing inside you! but very happy to read that it was! it reminded me of my first doctor's visit at 6 weeks. there was no heartbeat on the sonogram and the doctor pointed to the "thing" and said "there's your pregnancy" and after i was crying in her office and on the way home and planning going back on my antidepressant and drinking. i kept analyzing that she called it a pregnancy and not something warmer and more human... of course i spent two weeks preparing for the worst and there was a fine heartbeat when i returned at 8 weeks. anyway, all to say i understand the anxiety and planning for the worst. glad you got away from that conference. the embryo must have wanted to get you home and relaxed!

marlena rivers said...

sorry i called your peanut an "embryo". sounds almost as unwarm as what i was complaining about! i forgot you called it a peanut. are you going to find out the gender, by the way? it's nice if you have names already because then you can call the peanut by his or her name! (i know i'm jumping ahead a bit. right now you just need to chill and get through the pregnancy one day at a time...

theoneliner said...


i wish i could have been there. to sit by you in the hall to give sneers to all onlookers. i could have even gotten up and said..."move along people. move along. nothing to see here." in a very authoritative voice. all huffy like.
see, you need to take me on your trips.

glad to hear all is well.

Nicole said...

Update: Looks like all the spotting and bleeding has come to an end for now. So, so glad about that. Breathing easier.

Colette- yes, a very sickening roller coaster ride and here I thought I wasn't supposed to be on roller coasters anymore once pregnant. Turns out that you can, just not the fun ones.

Patience-Thanks, I am doing a lot of deep breathing at this point.

Dino-Having all of you in my corner is priceless.

Renee-No, the doctor really didn't explain the bleeding. He didn't see anything going on in there. And, I think you are right, no one but husband and my bloggie friends could have comforted me at that point.

Dr. Aurelia- Yes, Pooter measured spot on, give or take a day. No blood was seen and no reason for the spotting was spotted. Still remains a mystery.

Adrienne-No, he didn't see anything on the ultrasound to explain the bleeding. Just a cute peanut sized Pooter. I think it was RUB.

Jackie-Thank you, and yes, that's all I will be doing this weekend is absolutely nothin'.

Barbara-Spotting has stopped for now. And yes, I could really use the break at this point.

Cibele-Thanks, I will be doing lots of resting.

Depressionista-No, no explanation for the bleeding, but it does look like it has stopped.

Emilija-Yup, I could really use a nice boring pregnancy right now.

Casey-Ah yes, the incessant worrying, I hate for it to spread to my bloggie friends.

LS-It's all about the down time these days.

Nadine-Thanks for the hugs, I feel so warm and fuzzy.

Ol'lady-I am nothing but resting these days. Drivin' hubby mad as well.

Cherlee's-Wow, a grandmother? That's so exciting. I hope to make it that far.

Berrybird-All hail the dildocam, I could have laid there all day with that dildocam inside me and watching that little heartbeat.

Bumble-No, no cause was identified, but the bleeding has stopped for now.

Terra-Your comment gives me hope. Thank you for your visit and your comment.

Marlena-Wow, they called it a pregnancy? And don't worry about calling it an embryo, I call it all different things all day long.

The Oneliner-Nothing makes me feel better than knowing that someone would have sneered at others for me. You are right, I should have brought you along for the ride.