Not...too...good

Thank you to Veronika, Jodi, and Barbara for the comments. I needed all of the motivation I could get to take on the treadmill today. Things are not too good right now. I could really use some meds at this moment, but the walking is almost as good. Thanks everybody!

First, I had my first final of the semester and it went very, very badly. After 45 minutes, I was still reading the fact pattern and trying to get it all straight in my head. It didn't get any better after that. Thirty minutes after it was all over, I sat in the car next to my bewildered husband sobbing into my coat. There's never a tissue around when I need one. A gore-tex coat doesn't really do the same job. You would think I would be used to failing my finals by now, but it's still a surprise everytime. You know things are bad when you are sitting there during the final wondering whether I really took this class.

Then, I got home and my 4th job rejection was in the mail. Four down, one to go. I should mention that this is for the summer of 2007. Everyone has their summer jobs lined up now, except for me. In a class of around 200, this isn't exactly where I would like to be. Sure I like to be different, but the number of ways I am "different" is starting to get a bit overwhelming. The most recent rejection was kind enough to tell me in their letter that I shouldn't think that I wasn't chosen just because of my qualifications. OK...what should I think then? Any suggestions? As I get deeper and deeper into debt, these types of comments don't exactly help.

No medication and no hope make Nicole something, something... Go crazy? Don't mind if I do.