Gifts that keep on giving

After going over Tertia's blog, I couldn't resist addressing her same topic. She asks her bloggers what their worst and best gift has been over the years. Love that she limits it to material things and takes the words right out of sappy people's mouths by outlawing cheesy responses like the baby growing in my belly reply. Yuck. I want materialism here. So I thought I would share some of the best and worst, but mostly the worst, from my gift getting history.

Worst all time gift for me has to be one from my first husband. We'll just call him ass to keep it short and to the point. Ass had a cat that was carving up all of my somewhat decent furniture. Thus, in his ultimate wisdom and thoughtfulness, Ass gave me a cat scratching tower for Christmas. Wrapped it up and everything. Lovely.

Second worst gift wasn't so bad, if I had given it to Ass for Christmas. During the same year as the scratching post, Ass gave me the CD box set of the Rolling Stones. I don't particularly care for the Stones, but he did. In fact, apparently, he loved them more than he loved me.

Another great gift from Ass said a lot about what he thought of me. A full length, full skirt made of black velour. Wore it once and everyone asked me if I was preparing early for Halloween. Perfect.

Towards the end of the marriage, it got even better. Instead of buying me CD's, he just burned some for me. Normally, I would appreciate the effort, no matter how illegal. Unfortunately, the source of music was questionable. Turns out the burned music came from his girlfriend's CD collection, some of the CD's were ones he bought for her. Well, at least he fucked women with similar tastes in music. I admire consistency and efficiency.

Best gift this year was my little shuffler iPod. This is definitely something I would never have bought myself which made it all the more special. It was a total surprise from Husband and he was proud as a peacock when I opened it. It comes with a lanyard so I can use it while I am working off the comments on my treadmill. So leave a comment damnit! I have hours of podcasts from NPR to listen to and need some comment motivation. Also, feel free to leave your best or worst gift in your comment. Love reading that stuff, especially the bad gifts. By the way, I am pretty sure Husband would put on his bad gift list the nose hair trimmer I put in his stocking this year. Well, it made me laugh, that's what's important.

By the way, Veronika, if you are reading this, I hope you get a good chuckle, it's the only thing I know that helps.