I only have the energy for a very brief update. I am emotionally drained. After a few hours at the wine store stocking the shelves with our latest delivery, I made my hourly trip to the bathroom. The obsessive toilet paper watching suddenly revealed something not so benign. Bright red blood, about a dime in diameter.
I called the doctor and I am scheduled for a scan tomorrow morning at 8:30am. I have mild cramping, but not the painful lower backache I had with the first miscarriage. I am terrified, angry and just plain sad. Just so very sad.
If there is a heartbeat tomorrow, I still won't feel must better given that the last time all of this occurred we saw a heartbeat then too (only to lose the little guy one week later). I am thinking it may be time for a specialist. I will let you all know tomorrow what the scan showed, if anything.
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After over five years of being heavily medicated for my bipolar illness, I am just crazy enough to go off the meds and try to conceive. With a whole team of professionals monitoring my progress and an amazingly compassionate husband to catch me when I fall, I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. This is my journey through the insane process...
Pepper in the pond.
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- Nicole
- Crazyville, New York State, United States
- 30-something, over-educated, and bipolar crazy woman with a bicornuate uterus and a baby...Who'd a thunk it?
15 comments:
Oh, Nicole, I am sorry. This sucks. I will check in again tomorrow for the scan results. In fact, I think I will crash your stat counter tomorrow by refreshing madly.
I hope hope hope this is one of those "nothing" deals. Have they been tracking your progesterone with the betas? Do you think you can get a blood draw for it tomorrow? If it's on the low side, maybe supplementing would be all that is needed.
I hope you aren't going there again. Wishing you much luck with the scan tomorrow.
((HUGS))
I'm hoping it's a "normal" bleed.
Please keep us posted.
Please please please please please let it be nothing...
Thinking of you x
Shit fuck damn, I hope it is just a tiny bit of overexertion, but, well, I don't know what to say sweetie.
Meantime, take some extra prometrium and I'll cross my fingers and ovaries for you.
I hope everything is fine.
Oh God Nicole, I hope this is only implantation bleeding. You're in my thoughts.
Hope everything is ok and will be checking back for scan results.
I'm pulling for you, Nicole.
oh no.no!no! i am hopeful that it is just the universe fvcking wiht you. oh, i so hope so. crossing everything i got.
Hugs! Thinking good thoughts for you...
crossing all my fingers that this is just a bump in the road, Nicole.
Let us know the outcome of the scan, if you can...
Oh Nicole, I'm not letting go of hope yet. A dime of blood is quite normal. I had bleeding in both pregnancies and they gave me live babies.
I know this sucks. Ask if you have a subchrionic hematoma, it will explain the bleeding. {{{hugs}}}
i am keeping my fingers crossed for you
I hope tomorrow comes quickly and all is well.
There are "anti-miscarriage" drugs I think.
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