Husband called me outside over the weekend to check out his treasure. (Get your mind out of the gutter.) Peering into the bucket, I saw black gold. Not the oily kind; it was the soily kind. He had turned over the compost pile and screened the compost to get a healthy layer of absolutely beautiful compost for our Spring plants.I just stared at it and could hardly believe that something so nurturing and positive could come out of the nastiness that we threw into our compost pile. For the most part, we have a compost pile just so we don't have more garbage to throw out. (We pay per bag, here.) And, we don't have a working garbage disposal so there's a lot of waste that can go into that compost pile.
And because I am pretty cheesy, I couldn't help but see the lesson in it. With a lot of time, the stuff you really want no part of because it smells bad, and looks bad, and feels bad, turns into something more valuable and lovely than you could ever foresee in the garbage it started from. I wondered whether that's how everything works. One giant cycle. And I stuck my hand in that compost soil and felt the qualities that would give life to the plants in my garden.In other news, I have a date with the dildocam today. My lower back and cramp like pain has finally registered some concern with my doctor. Also, I get a gratuitous beta today as well. Let's hope that they don't make me insert the dildo myself again. That's just a little too close to having a technician watch me play with myself. Any self insertions are for me and Husband exclusively, no audience please.
Updated 5/3/07 @ 11:30pm: Sorry no results to report. Apparently, I am the last on the call back list for my doctor. Am I being a bad patient if I am torqued that I haven't heard from them on the beta and ultrasound results, yet? Wait, don't answer that... I am running out of painkillers, and I am entirely too unmedicated for even the most constructive of criticisms.
27 comments:
An excellent analogy. We can hold onto the hope that from all the IF cr*p we go through, some roses will grow!
Here's hoping for some clarity from the dildo-date and blood-thirsty needles.
But... um.. there is usually a sheet on me when I get to have a date with one of those, and I actually prefer to insert it myself-- far less uncomfortable. And not analogous to home activities due to the aforementioned sheet. TMI?
Will check back for updates. Good luck.
Good luck and it is good to remember that something good always comes out of something not so pleasent... we just have to remind ourselves to be patient. ((that might have been more for me than you))
Yay for compost! We just started composting and I can't wait to see the results. I have no idea how long it takes but it feels good and productive to put our scraps to use. Glad you can the big picture too.
Always hugs!
Good on ya for composting. I don't think I have the time or energy right now to start a proper compost bin. Maybe someday.
A garbage disposal would be nice too.
Glad your doctor is finally seeing you. Hope it brings you peace of mind.
cool you sound more upbeat than before. We have a compost too but I need Grumpy to move it closer to the deck
We've been composting for almost 6 years now. I really like it a lot. Although I found out one year that it isn't a good idea to toss the pumpkin scraps on the compost heap because when you get pumpkin plants in the compost...you can't put the compost on the rest of the garden...and if you do accidentally move some of the pumpkin laden compost...you may end up with rogue pumpkins in your yard! (I was using compost for the grass seed and we ended up with a pumpkin instead! LOL!)
I don't have any experience with the dildocam, but I would feel totally uncomfortable inserting it myself in front of an audience. How weird. I'm not understanding the usefulness of the cam either as you're supposed to be pretty sealed up in there...right? Or can this thing get past the cerv!x?
Whether it is cheesy or not, it is a great analogy. And a nice reminder for when we are struggling with garbage!
Good luck with the appointment. At least doctors are finally taking your pain seriously.
Is it wrong that I laughed at the compost/infertility analogy?
HeHe
I'm glad you are getting medical help, but sorry it is needed. Crap....let us know how it goes.
see, i would rather insert it. b/c them inserting it...is like me and them and having foreplay. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess either way it happens it isn't pleasent. i say you need a swig of whisky before. but of course i say that...i'm from georgia.
Hi Nicole,
I am glad to see that you can still see and learn for the bright site of things. I wish the best of luck with beta results. Keep us posted
such a totally inspiring post. thank you for sharing and I really hope you don't have to do any further public fondling!
Beautifully said, Nicole. Sometimes the garbage really can make something beautiful. I hope my garbage does just that.
Thats a great post Nicole. And not cheesy at all, its good to be able to see how goodness can from garbage, we all need to learn that. And I just can't understand the ones who make you insert the dildocam yourself? Wierd if you ask me... I'd feel very odd. "Never thought I'd stick something in there while a stranger was watching did I?" x
hope all goes well with your porn appointment...I never knew of such a thing till I met you, maybe I'm datin myself with that...I wonder if there is a home dildocam kit??? That could make for an interesting Saturday night :)
hope the crappy dildo cam appt yeilds much positive growth! (now THAT was cheesy!)
We started composting when we moved to our house. we're still waiting for something great to come from it much like the other crap in our life. Good luck with the dildocam.
Loved the analogy too! Now I feel a lot better about having sh*t for brains. :)
you crackme up! Love the compost! Love to garden! love the vinca!! Hugs and Blessings
not cheesy at all! a wonderful analogy, and one that we're all hoping for...some beauty and joy from all of the garbage we must endure...:)
i'm glad your doctor is finally paying proper attention to you. re: the dildocam. i'm much happier inserting it myself as i find that much less uncomfortable and it takes some of the intimidation out of the machinery. it feels less dirty that way to me.... that said, i hope that it goes the way that makes you feel the most comfortable! good luck with the appt.
I liked the cheesy analogy. I often think this whole ttc process stinks (to put it mildly) but it will be worth it for all of us. Update soon how the appointment went.
you should consider the obgyn associates/mid-wives next time. truly. take care of yourself as much as possible luv.
It's called "finding the blessing", and I'm all about that these days!
Keep us posted on the u/s and b/w results.
Can I just say that they suck? No, really. How is it fair to make you wait? And also, they should've drawn progestorone with the beta. That would clarify things a lot. Urgh!
great image and analogy. i can relate to the ideas behind it. hope things work out with the ultrasound. i would not want to insert it either!
great image and analogy. i can relate to the ideas behind it. hope things work out with the ultrasound. i would not want to insert it either!
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