So, if you look at the post I wrote just before this one, you will see that I didn't have a lot of faith in immaculate conception. Yesterday, I thought I spoke too soon. Today, I think I was right the first time around.
I got a shiny white negative HPT on Monday. Then when I noticed there was no Aunt Flo hangin' around, I peed on another stick two days later. It came up positive. Not a bright second line, but a line nevertheless. So, I had my beta HCG checked with a blood draw (and my progesterone by the way). Tonight, I got the results and it didn't look so promising. 54 is the grand number that isn't so grand. If the IF blogging world has taught me anything, it's that 54 is not promising. My progesterone is all good, but I can't get that damn 54 out of my head.
I go back in for another beta to see if that number is doubling. But, I gotta be honest, I am not so sure that 108 is going to make me feel any better. I'm sad, very very sad.
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After over five years of being heavily medicated for my bipolar illness, I am just crazy enough to go off the meds and try to conceive. With a whole team of professionals monitoring my progress and an amazingly compassionate husband to catch me when I fall, I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. This is my journey through the insane process...
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24 comments:
You know, I had wildly different numbers for my two singleton pregnancies on the first draws, taken on the same day in the cycle. The first was 8. I kid you not, 8. 54 is not the end of the world. It's not exactly let's decorate the nursery kind of a number, but it's not 8. Let's hope tomorrow is a good number day.
I wish you lots of luck with your next beta.
Will be holding out hope that your next beta is fantastic.
Nicole, I hope 54 is just the start of your good news. Hoping against all hope!
I like what Julia said. Hoping really hard for a good number tomorrow.
54 is a fine number and of course its the doubling that matters. so much hope sent you way from me. xoxo
Sweetie 54 is fine if you don't know exactly when you ovulated. I mean that cyst may not have been a follicle you could use, it may be that there was a smaller one hanging around there and it grew and surged a few days later.
You didn't mention when you guys tried, or if you were using OPKs, so you may have to wait until an ultrasound for a good measurement for dates.
In the meantime, I'm going to cross my fingers and hope for you, k?
54 doesn't necessarily mean anything. my first beta was 28 and i'm still ticking away. hang in there and fingers crossed for 108 today...
Fingers crossed! Keep us posted.
keeping my fingers crossed for you
May I ask what day post ovulation you presume to be? Not important for you to email directly, but if you do get that 108+ with your next beta, let us know.
i'm hoping for a good number for you today. update us if you can.
i'm sorry to hear you're feeling so sad...take care of yourself, nicole. sending many hugs your way. thinking of you.
As others have already said, depending on your ovulation date, 54 might be just fine. Hoping as hard as I can for doubling.
Everything's crossed that the next beta comes in doubled nicely...
I will keep my fingers crossed for you. As the pps said, the actual number itself doesn't mean much at this point. It is the doubling that is important.
I don't think these beta tests were around when I was pregnant. I'm not sure what these numbers are, but I hope they double.
Well, just what that 54 means depends on what DPO you think you are, of course....
Thinking -- if it was 54 two days after you got a negative HPT, that means it was below the test threshhold on Monday, meaning that it was below the 25 or 20, or even the 10-15 that the most sensitive tests pick up at. Which would mean it already doubled once between Monday and Wednesday. Even if the bHCG was THursday, you're still looking at 15 Monday becoming 30 Weds becomeing 45 Thursday.....
I'm pulling for 108. Or higher.
Crossing all my digits for you. It's hard to type.
Good luck with your next Beta, FX for it doubling.
I'm thinking positive thoughts for you and have everything crossed that this time everything is perfect for you. Much love xC.
I am sending you loving thoughts....
XOXOXO
Holy Shit. I can't think of anything else to say. Keep us updated. You are in my thoughts.
I would imagine that the news isn't good, otherwise you would have gotten back to us by now. Sorry sweetie.
Hoping that you bring us good news soon, I've really also heard of lower numbers and healthy pregnancies. Hang in there sweetie!
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