Thursday, September 27, 2007

No such thing as immaculate

So, if you look at the post I wrote just before this one, you will see that I didn't have a lot of faith in immaculate conception. Yesterday, I thought I spoke too soon. Today, I think I was right the first time around.

I got a shiny white negative HPT on Monday. Then when I noticed there was no Aunt Flo hangin' around, I peed on another stick two days later. It came up positive. Not a bright second line, but a line nevertheless. So, I had my beta HCG checked with a blood draw (and my progesterone by the way). Tonight, I got the results and it didn't look so promising. 54 is the grand number that isn't so grand. If the IF blogging world has taught me anything, it's that 54 is not promising. My progesterone is all good, but I can't get that damn 54 out of my head.

I go back in for another beta to see if that number is doubling. But, I gotta be honest, I am not so sure that 108 is going to make me feel any better. I'm sad, very very sad.

24 comments:

Julia said...

You know, I had wildly different numbers for my two singleton pregnancies on the first draws, taken on the same day in the cycle. The first was 8. I kid you not, 8. 54 is not the end of the world. It's not exactly let's decorate the nursery kind of a number, but it's not 8. Let's hope tomorrow is a good number day.

My Reality said...

I wish you lots of luck with your next beta.

Chili said...

Will be holding out hope that your next beta is fantastic.

Bumble said...

Nicole, I hope 54 is just the start of your good news. Hoping against all hope!

serenity said...

I like what Julia said. Hoping really hard for a good number tomorrow.

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

54 is a fine number and of course its the doubling that matters. so much hope sent you way from me. xoxo

Aurelia said...

Sweetie 54 is fine if you don't know exactly when you ovulated. I mean that cyst may not have been a follicle you could use, it may be that there was a smaller one hanging around there and it grew and surged a few days later.

You didn't mention when you guys tried, or if you were using OPKs, so you may have to wait until an ultrasound for a good measurement for dates.

In the meantime, I'm going to cross my fingers and hope for you, k?

carrie said...

54 doesn't necessarily mean anything. my first beta was 28 and i'm still ticking away. hang in there and fingers crossed for 108 today...

Not so little sister said...

Fingers crossed! Keep us posted.

Dino aka Katy said...

keeping my fingers crossed for you

DD said...

May I ask what day post ovulation you presume to be? Not important for you to email directly, but if you do get that 108+ with your next beta, let us know.

megan said...

i'm hoping for a good number for you today. update us if you can.

i'm sorry to hear you're feeling so sad...take care of yourself, nicole. sending many hugs your way. thinking of you.

niobe said...

As others have already said, depending on your ovulation date, 54 might be just fine. Hoping as hard as I can for doubling.

M said...

Everything's crossed that the next beta comes in doubled nicely...

Cate said...

I will keep my fingers crossed for you. As the pps said, the actual number itself doesn't mean much at this point. It is the doubling that is important.

Barbara said...

I don't think these beta tests were around when I was pregnant. I'm not sure what these numbers are, but I hope they double.

Sara said...

Well, just what that 54 means depends on what DPO you think you are, of course....

Thinking -- if it was 54 two days after you got a negative HPT, that means it was below the test threshhold on Monday, meaning that it was below the 25 or 20, or even the 10-15 that the most sensitive tests pick up at. Which would mean it already doubled once between Monday and Wednesday. Even if the bHCG was THursday, you're still looking at 15 Monday becoming 30 Weds becomeing 45 Thursday.....

I'm pulling for 108. Or higher.

Casey said...

Crossing all my digits for you. It's hard to type.

The Road Less Travelled said...

Good luck with your next Beta, FX for it doubling.

three minute palaver said...

I'm thinking positive thoughts for you and have everything crossed that this time everything is perfect for you. Much love xC.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I am sending you loving thoughts....

XOXOXO

Caroline said...

Holy Shit. I can't think of anything else to say. Keep us updated. You are in my thoughts.

thrice said...

I would imagine that the news isn't good, otherwise you would have gotten back to us by now. Sorry sweetie.

Tam said...

Hoping that you bring us good news soon, I've really also heard of lower numbers and healthy pregnancies. Hang in there sweetie!