Everything has been really, really bad. I keep my mind from sanity by exercising my skills at unrestricted globalizing. When Husband dares to bring up something that I cannot possibly say is bad, I summarily discount whatever it is and then I resort to telling him that he just doesn't "get it". I think we all know who doesn't "get it". ME.
I have managed to take something that has nothing to do with me and turn it around on myself.
As I posted some time ago, I became an Aunt. Out of my pathetic bitterness, I have chosen to wholly ignore this birth until now. For the last three weeks I have tried to put it out of my mind. When I finally spoke to my mom on the phone, I got the story on the baby and the family. It's ugly, very ugly. And, because litigation may be pending, I cannot tell the story. Suffice it to say that my sister's baby was taken from her and put in foster care for 5 days. Just long enough to send the mother into PPD and cause her milk to dry up. And then all charges were dropped because it was discovered that the complaint was a lie spewed by the MIL in retaliation.
And, all I can think is, I should be near my family. Instead, I am here, helpless.
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After over five years of being heavily medicated for my bipolar illness, I am just crazy enough to go off the meds and try to conceive. With a whole team of professionals monitoring my progress and an amazingly compassionate husband to catch me when I fall, I am ready to start trying to get pregnant. This is my journey through the insane process...
Pepper in the pond.
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- Nicole
- Crazyville, New York State, United States
- 30-something, over-educated, and bipolar crazy woman with a bicornuate uterus and a baby...Who'd a thunk it?
14 comments:
It is good to hear from you again. I've been worried. I hope things work out with your family and the new baby. I know what you mean about the bitterness. You are human, though. As far as things being bad, I hope you are finding some way of letting some of this out (i.e. speaking with someone or writing it down). Keep in touch.
well I am glad you posted sorry to hear things aren't great. I am glad your sister got her baby back I can't believe that MIL!
We missed you and I do hope you're feeling better. Sorry to hear about your sister and hope that gets resolved soon...folks just don't understand that you don't mess with social services. I've got a good friend here who is in up to her neck with them...they have no case but because the caseworker has a grudge (my friend didn't like that the caseworker brought her own kid when she supervised the visitation) the caseworker is filing an emergency order to block the visitation the judge ordered.
Hoping that everything works out for everyone. hugs
I hope you begin to feel better soon.
I agree with Renee - Child Protective Services has the ability to steamroll people. I hope your sister can get out from under it. She needs a good lawyer. A really good lawyer. Then she need to move, far, far away. Then move again until they lose track of her.
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Nicole, try to rise above your own anguish and help her somehow. She needs you. The new baby needs you. I know you are still grieving, but your sister isn't responsible for causing your pain. Hate your ex like crazy, love your sister and her baby. Transcend.
Why the assvice? Because if I had never been separated from my birth mother, my life would be soooo different now. You know that she can still breastfeed on ADs, and may need them. so what the hell, she should take them right?
And she could get her breastmilk back. Relactation is possible. Google Dr.Jack Newman for her. His site will pop up and she might feel hope even if it doesn't work perfectly.
Oh, that is truly horrible. I hope that MIL gets her ass sued off and never ever gets to see that child.
Ditto what Aurelia said. And be good to yourself, Nicole. The self-flagellation between the lines isn't good for anyone.
shit, sorry to hear that about your sister but good to see you back.
oh god, how awful. maybe this situation, horrible as it is, is just the thing to help pull you out of yourself for a bit. sometimes that's a good way to get a new perspective.
How awful for the baby and the new mom.
Glad to hear from you. Hugs!
What a horrible story. To protect your sister's privacy, you probably don't want to give any details, but it's hard to even imagine how something like that could happen.
I'm awfully good at globalizing too.
That is truly horrible. Nobody deserves that.
My sister's baby was born too. If I get one more YouTube clip of a crying baby, I may flip.
Oh my god. That is so terrible. PPD nearly ate me alive at one point. I cannot imagine what would have happened had someone actually taken away my baby. Do what you can for your sister. She is possibly in a lot of danger, and she needs you. I know that sounds dramatic, but PPD really is a monster.
And take care of yourself, Nicole. Please.
I have missed you girlfriend! I am so sorry that you are going through this pain. I am glad she got her baby back, but I am sad for you...I think of you often! hugs
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