Globalizing

Everything has been really, really bad. I keep my mind from sanity by exercising my skills at unrestricted globalizing. When Husband dares to bring up something that I cannot possibly say is bad, I summarily discount whatever it is and then I resort to telling him that he just doesn't "get it". I think we all know who doesn't "get it". ME.

I have managed to take something that has nothing to do with me and turn it around on myself.

As I posted some time ago, I became an Aunt. Out of my pathetic bitterness, I have chosen to wholly ignore this birth until now. For the last three weeks I have tried to put it out of my mind. When I finally spoke to my mom on the phone, I got the story on the baby and the family. It's ugly, very ugly. And, because litigation may be pending, I cannot tell the story. Suffice it to say that my sister's baby was taken from her and put in foster care for 5 days. Just long enough to send the mother into PPD and cause her milk to dry up. And then all charges were dropped because it was discovered that the complaint was a lie spewed by the MIL in retaliation.

And, all I can think is, I should be near my family. Instead, I am here, helpless.

You know you're crazy when...

You know that you're crazy when...

• you throw a mug full of old coffee at your husband, it breaks against the wall, and then you feel bad because you liked that mug.
• pulling your hair out feels good.
• digging your nails into your own arms brings relief.
• you want to put your husband's head through a wall because he did exactly what you asked him to do.
• turning left in front of an oncoming-semi sounds like a good time.
• you call your therapist and wish her a good vacation week because she will need all the rest she can get before your next appointment with her.
• you write a list of reasons why you are crazy.

Feel free to add your own to my list in the comments.

Green

So last Friday I got the message that youngest sister gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Sister named the baby girl after her first horse. Does anyone else think this is odd like I do?

Then the photos started coming via email. I am absolutely green with envy. Let's just say that I am not handling this very well.

Then, pregnant l@w student gave birth to her baby and there are photos posted around the office of the happy parents with their newborn.

This past week has been my personal jealousy nightmare.