Saturday, September 20, 2008

Who are you calling a waste?

How did a month go by so fast? I just realized that it has been over a month since I last posted. Honestly, not a whole lot has happened since then. Our sweet Cusco left the world very peacefully and I can only hope to leave this life with the same grace. I am still working at the wine shop, although much more frequently now. As such, Husband and I are playing baby relay. The up side is that Pepper is always with a loving parent. The down side is that those two loving parents are rarely with each other. Sigh. And before you read the rest of this post, please know that every single thing that we struggle through is worth it. I am eternally grateful for our little Pepper, and I wouldn't change a thing.

That's not to say that each day isn't difficult, because it is. I have gone from a fast paced life of endeavoring to obtain a profession to a much slower paced life of endeavoring to raise a child. The adjustment has been a challenge. I often sit in our neighborhood coffee shop watching everyone bustle off to their important business meetings or "save the world" efforts. Sitting their literally attached to my little one, I have this twinge of sadness. My old Ph.Duh. mentor mentioned the other day that I was wasting my talents by working at a wine store. This mentor is the same person who is often out of town for weeks at a time and is lucky to see his wife and daughter for an hour a day when he is in town. That's when I wonder who it is that's really wasting their talents.

10 comments:

Jason and Samantha said...

((hug))

I know how you feel, and its a hard adjustment being a mom. Things will get easier.

I'm also itching to get out and get back in school (nursing). But I dread possible having to leave my child in a daycare or baby-sitter. :(

Nadine said...

Time spent with your children is anything but a waste. I'm glad you get to spend as much time with your little one as possible. Enjoy!

And it's always nice to hear from you.

Electronic Goose said...

"Baby relay" is exactly what we're doing, too.

You write so honestly, and often, including this time, it reflects my own thoughts. Thank you for being open; it is a comfort.

Cate said...

It is good to have balance in all things. I stay home all day with the kids and it does get a little crazy, especially now that A isn't napping so I get no break until Steve comes home from work. I personally think having something going on besides mothering is good for the soul. It helps to have something to keep you grounded. I made the mistake of losing myself in mothering with A and am still trying to find some balance between mothering my kids and being myself.
What I am trying to say in my inept way is that I understand why you would want to spend every waking moment with your sweetie but it is good to have time away too. Finding the right balance is hard, though. Especially when you sacrifice your time with your man.
Big giant hugs to you.

OccasionalConfusion said...

That shows where his priorities are. Enjoy being with your baby because I think that bonding with your baby it's well worth it :-)

marlena rivers said...

hi there. believe me i know what it's like to suddenly realize time has gone by with baby and i havent posted. this time it was two months for me! i miss it. i've thought about you during this time. that mentor, dont listen to him. i am amazed that you are working while taking care of the baby. why is it that judging women's choices gets even more judgmental after one has the baby... i'm inspired to go post now.

Sarah said...

we were able to do the baby relay for quite a long time and now that it's over and she's in day care, i cannot tell you how much i miss it. she's two doors down and i can just go grab her whenever i am free so i really don't have much to complain about it, but it just reinforces what many of us find: there is no perfect solution, there is just constant attempt at the best balance we can find.

Aurelia said...

It's not a waste, and it is lovely time together, but is it bad if I too hope that you get to use those fancy degrees someday? Just saying.... ;)

Cibele said...

where have you been girl? i miss you

Cibele said...

where have you been girl? i miss you