tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post3881119486491028436..comments2023-10-15T03:26:52.884-05:00Comments on Just crazy enough to try: The Not-Baby StepsNicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01904286943340898221noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-45899609721063174382007-03-29T20:48:00.000-05:002007-03-29T20:48:00.000-05:00oh goodness. i have just caught up on your sad new...oh goodness. i have just caught up on your sad news. i am quite late, had not had a chance to visit in a while. glad i looked before leaving for vacation.<BR/>here's my words of support: my very close friend had a miscarriage around the same time and had a d &c and it went fine and the happy ending is she is now traveling in italy wiht a 5 month old baby girl. i would totally go the same route as you. i had a d & c procedure when i had my abortion (due to being on poisonous meds) and i made sure they put me out completely. get the full anastesia. you don't want to be awake when they do it.<BR/>you will be fine and it is much less stressful than waitng around to miscarry which could be dangerous anyway. i totally support your decision. i'll now read ahead as you probably have already gone through with it. sorry so late...marlena rivershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03230918990270702938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-54742512722044960842007-03-23T16:55:00.000-05:002007-03-23T16:55:00.000-05:00Fuck. Fuck, I am so sorry, hon.I've had a D&C, I'...Fuck. Fuck, I am so sorry, hon.<BR/><BR/>I've had a D&C, I've had the pills (several rounds) and I've had zero intervention. They all suck, but--<BR/><BR/>Wait, before I go any further, can I borrow that bat for your fucking doctor, because he totally needs it. "Hey, I know! She's grief stricken and traumatized! What goes well with that? Oh, I know! Fear!" What a horse's ass.<BR/><BR/>Also, with all due respect to your husband and husbands everywhere, this isn't really his arena (or his uterus). YOU are the one who is going to have to experience this. Whether or not he's holding your hand, YOU have to do it, so it's YOUR call.<BR/><BR/>Pros for the D&C: Faster, better drugs, option to send tissue out for genetic testing, predictable scheduling. Cons: It's surgery, and not everybody knocks you out.<BR/><BR/>Pros for the pills: Fewer people up in your junk while you're unconscious. Cons: Doesn't always work, results can happen any time, anywhere, you may have to carry a dead embryo/fetus longer than you'd like.<BR/><BR/>Pros for doing nothing: Free. Cons: Same as the pills, plus...it can take a while.<BR/><BR/>Trust yourself to make the best decision for yourself.akeeyuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09925518747824440203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-17094609590139229142007-03-23T14:49:00.000-05:002007-03-23T14:49:00.000-05:00Sooo sorry honey. I really cannot add much. If y...Sooo sorry honey. I really cannot add much. If you're feeling uncomfortable with your current doc and his inclinations, I would seriously suggest a second opinion at another local establishment. Couldn't hurt to just talk to another professional about it???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-72407677891379094432007-03-23T11:04:00.000-05:002007-03-23T11:04:00.000-05:00I'm so sorry this has happened, Nicole. I'd like ...I'm so sorry this has happened, Nicole. <BR/><BR/>I'd like to jump on the bandwagon here, I think you should try to find another doctor who can give you another opinion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-26698104056133538472007-03-23T08:58:00.000-05:002007-03-23T08:58:00.000-05:00Nicole..I had 3 m/c 1- 8weeks - on my own, 2-10wee...Nicole..I had 3 m/c 1- 8weeks - on my own, 2-10weeks on my own...3rd - 18 weeks, delivered at home, by myself...check out blog...it gives more details...rushed to hospital was bleeding out and ended up with d&C to finish it. I really wish I had a d&c with one of the first 2, but the dr. didn't recommend it as I wasn't far enough along for it to matter...yeah right! I know that you are feeling that you just want over and that the d&c will finish...but you HAVE to deal with the emotions you are having. I think you might want to see someone else. I have never heard of it causing problems down the line. I had another d&c a year ago to remove polups(?) from my uteris...my periords have never been better! Yeah...and neither of ny dr.s ever said that there were risks for future pregnancy's. I think you are doing the right thing asking for advise...do what your gut feels...if you need to get a second opinion do it. The waiting SUCKS!!!! Love ya! Hugs!Colettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06500503326491706291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-42842578459052612242007-03-23T07:44:00.000-05:002007-03-23T07:44:00.000-05:00Typo in the email address. It is vpteam@vaginapagi...Typo in the email address. It is vpteam@vaginapagina.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-70109019173971344152007-03-23T07:43:00.000-05:002007-03-23T07:43:00.000-05:00Random lurker here. I am sorry for your loss and w...Random lurker here. I am sorry for your loss and wish you well through your grief and recovery.<BR/><BR/>If you are willing try posting your questions in: http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina<BR/><BR/>This is an awesome safe-space women's health community and I have always received the best advice here. If you want to post anonymously, you can email your comment to the moderatorsvpteam@vaginapagina.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-69782387560504335042007-03-23T06:41:00.000-05:002007-03-23T06:41:00.000-05:00I never had a D&C or a miscarriage, so I cannot tr...I never had a D&C or a miscarriage, so I cannot truly give advice here.<BR/><BR/>You truly have to follow your heart...<BR/><BR/>What does your PDoc say about this? Would the D&C be too stressful for you, knocked out and all?<BR/><BR/>I would ask him or her about it as well.Bleeding Hearthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02689816555725078811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-1809181314112075012007-03-23T06:00:00.000-05:002007-03-23T06:00:00.000-05:00Don't have anything substantive to add. But I've b...Don't have anything substantive to add. But I've been thinking about you. So sorry again for your loss.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-36192014015311932492007-03-22T22:36:00.000-05:002007-03-22T22:36:00.000-05:00I am sorry but I have no advice. I know people tha...I am sorry but I have no advice. I know people that had it done and they were fine. If it were me I think i'd want it over. The idea of having to wait to have it happen naturally is cruel. I would however check around with doctors to be sure that guys hesitance is not becuase he is not good at the procedure.<BR/><BR/>we are all here for you hang in thereDinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03618419758674326005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-53995092510795088792007-03-22T21:10:00.000-05:002007-03-22T21:10:00.000-05:00I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say....I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say.<BR/><BR/>I've had two elective D&Cs at 7-weeks, 20-25 years ago. I went on to have a successful not-ART singleton birth and an ART (because of sperm issues) twin birth. If I remember correctly, the main concern is scarring with D&C's. <BR/><BR/>Just have major pain killers available. I think that the cervix needs to open open up which means major-cramping. I just want you to be prepared. There is no reason to add additional pain, during this time.thricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09528308384855206125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-42821653845472101312007-03-22T20:45:00.000-05:002007-03-22T20:45:00.000-05:00my heart is breaking for you. i am not familiar e...my heart is breaking for you. i am not familiar enough on the procedure to speak to it.<BR/><BR/>: (Maggshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01884353212360311004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-19852434518377455562007-03-22T20:36:00.000-05:002007-03-22T20:36:00.000-05:00I am so sorry that you have to ask for this type o...I am so sorry that you have to ask for this type of advice, Nicole. It breaks my heart that you're going through this. Please know that we are all there for you and are virtually holding your hand every step of the way.<BR/><BR/>I've had miscarriages at 11 weeks, 18.5 weeks and 10 weeks. The first happened "naturally", but there was nothing natural about it. It was one of the most horrific experiences of my life and definitely scarred me mentally. I know that sounds melodramatic, but for me it's the truth. No one (NO ONE) told me what to expect, not the ER doctor who coldly told me there was "no baby there - are you sure you saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks?", and not my OB. Plus, this "natural" miscarriage required a later D&C anyway, so I got two for the price of one. Nice.<BR/><BR/>Miscarriage number 2 was a D&E. I couldn't bear the thought of a labor and delivery (an option, given how far along I was). It was not an optimal experience (I bled too much during the procedure), but I was in a very competent medical clinic that handled the emergency beautifully. The doctor gave me both antibiotics (to stave off infection) and estrogen to guard against scarring and adhesions.<BR/><BR/>Miscarriage number 3 was a D&C. I had no desire to repeat my miscarriage number 1 experience, and scheduled it as soon as I knew (which happened, BTW, when we went in for a prep ultrasound for the CVS procedure).<BR/><BR/>All this leads me to say this - a D&C would be MY choice, but may not be yours. But you need unbiased, clear facts. If you have the option, speak to another doctor who does not have such a strong bias against a D&C, and can give you a more balanced discussion of the pros & cons. To put it nicely, this doctor's advice sounds so slanted against a D&C, that I worry about his objectivity and ability to provide you with sound medical advice. (To put it rudely, AURELIA, if you want to beat this doctor with a bat, I will hold the MF'er down for you so he can't get away.)<BR/><BR/>Please email me direct if you want to talk about any of this in more detail.<BR/><BR/>((HUGS)) to you, my friend. I wish I could make the pain go away.Adriennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12290007044439581358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-82089202677691574222007-03-22T19:46:00.000-05:002007-03-22T19:46:00.000-05:00My sister in law had a D&C in the late 80s, so I'd...My sister in law had a D&C in the late 80s, so I'd assume things are much better now. Anyways, she had no problems whatsoever.<BR/><BR/>Nicole, this is YOUR body. You follow your gut instincts. Whatever you decide, I'm here for you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-31532271632151951432007-03-22T19:41:00.000-05:002007-03-22T19:41:00.000-05:00I've actually read that right after a D&C where RE...I've actually read that right after a D&C where RE's have found uteri are more receptive (yes, MORE!) to an embryo implanting. Something to do with the irritation that it causes? So there's a reason you can toss at your doctor that should be in your support.<BR/><BR/>I would be wanting a D&C too. I hope you get whatever it is that you need. <BR/><BR/>I am so so very sorry to hear the news.lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06261827387771485458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-28400274862833019092007-03-22T19:40:00.000-05:002007-03-22T19:40:00.000-05:00Hi Nicole, how u holding up my friend? I've only e...Hi Nicole, how u holding up my friend? I've only ever had one D&C and that wasn't after a pregnancy, just to supposedly give me a good clean out and make me more "fertile" (snort). It wasn't bad at all. I had it at the same time as I had a lapscope and had no infections or anything afterwards. Maybe a few days of spotting afterwards. With my only pregnancy, I miscarried naturally, but I was only 5 weeks along so I didn't "see" anything. It was just hard to face it that every time you go to the loo, it took about 10 days, was like a heavy period and more painful than normal. You're much further than I was so I can only assume a natural will be more difficult for you. I'm so so sorry we're even talking about this. Hugs my friend. xxxJWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07000365791603789983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-16498901382094134472007-03-22T19:11:00.000-05:002007-03-22T19:11:00.000-05:00I don't have any real advice, as I have never been...I don't have any real advice, as I have never been here before. I do want you to know I am thinking of you and Pooter. <BR/><BR/>You have to decide what is best for you. If I was in the same situation, I think I would opt for a D & C, because at least that way, you have some control over things.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-51269396584859632242007-03-22T18:19:00.000-05:002007-03-22T18:19:00.000-05:00I've no experience with a D&C or with chemical rou...I've no experience with a D&C or with chemical route, but want to offer my support regardless. I'm so sorry for your loss. The best thing you can do is what feels right for you -- follow your instincts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-41667298979406680412007-03-22T17:35:00.000-05:002007-03-22T17:35:00.000-05:00I've never been PG, so can't chime in with any rel...I've never been PG, so can't chime in with any relevant experience. I am glad you like your doctor and that he didn't fight with you about your choice in the end. It's too bad he had to scare Hubby so bad though. The presentation of risks seemed a little skewed in one particular direction. <BR/><BR/>Only you know what's best in this situation though. I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns, and I'm sending many big bear hugs your way.BerryBirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01688522956177325844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-23153876714240734872007-03-22T16:43:00.000-05:002007-03-22T16:43:00.000-05:00I can honestly say that I personally think that ha...I can honestly say that I personally think that having the d&c is better than hanging around waiting for the inevitable. I've had 4 d&c's in the last 2 years and everything works fine- it's really a very minor procedure. I had the metho injection (biggest freaking scariest needle I've ever seen! and it HURT) and the stupid shit didn't work anyway, I just hung around waiting and waiting and waiting to miscarry, after 4 or 5 days I'd had enough of the tension and stress and went in for a d&c. In hindsight I wish I'd just done that in the first place. No doctor can identify with how you are feeling with the waiting unless they personally have gone through it themselves.<BR/><BR/>Much love to you babe xMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00433861868469484062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-20635647989946341822007-03-22T15:19:00.000-05:002007-03-22T15:19:00.000-05:00No experience with this, no advice. Just BIG HUGS ...No experience with this, no advice. Just BIG HUGS and support. I'm so sorry. :´(<BR/><BR/>(((((((((nicole))))))))))Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293649194823360181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-31285545238873076062007-03-22T15:10:00.000-05:002007-03-22T15:10:00.000-05:00Hi Nicole,First of all I wan to send you my suppor...Hi Nicole,<BR/>First of all I wan to send you my support. I've been there and I know how difficult it is to have our dream of motherhood stop cold like that. Fortunately, I did not have to make this decision. For me it happened naturally at 7 weeks. It was painful (more emotionally than physically). The good thing was that I healed very fast and ovulated 15 days later and got a normal 30 day cycle. Like you I’ve heard both sides about D&C and to be honest I don’t know what I would choose to do if I was in your shoes. I hope that you and your husband can reach a decision together that you both feel secure about it. <BR/><BR/>You will be on my prayers. Take care!Cibelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02361386515177047271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-42386685240752190882007-03-22T14:43:00.000-05:002007-03-22T14:43:00.000-05:00I just wanted to come back and say to Carey, that ...I just wanted to come back and say to Carey, that yes, I agree sometimes the fetus is visible at 9 weeks, I apologize if my earlier comment sounded dismissive.<BR/><BR/>I find first trimester losses difficult because everything is so small IRL, but of course, looks so large on the U/S screen. And some women only see undefineable tissue, and others like your partner and yourself, see more and it can be hard. I'm sorry you had to go through that.Aureliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13691032415028867902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-59352725048403190132007-03-22T14:36:00.000-05:002007-03-22T14:36:00.000-05:00I have had 1 d&c and 3 miscarriages (2 naturally, ...I have had 1 d&c and 3 miscarriages (2 naturally, the first being a fetus that I delivered at 13 weeks and the second miscarriage at 5 weeks). The natural miscarriages were the hardest for me to deal with. The first one there was actually a fetus there to see and that vision has been burned into my brain forever. I will never forget what it looked like. I would never want anyone to go through the absolute horror of miscarrying where there may be identifiable products of conception. It is an anguish that I will never forget. Even when I miscarried the second time and I knew anything that I passed would be microscopic, I still was paranoid about flushing anything down the toilet (clots, etc) for fear that I was flushing the embryo. (dear lord I hope I am not giving you new things to obsess about). The d&c, while still heartbreaking, was over relatively quickly. My pregnancy symptoms faded quickly as well. I was sad for the loss of my pregnancy, but not traumatized by the experience of labor without a baby. I will not lie, there is nothing pleasant about a d&c. But I completely understand your need to get it over with. I hope this information was helpful and I am so sorry for you having to go through this. I found this website to be very helpful during my healing period http://pregnancyloss.info/<BR/>and this is my blog if you ever want to talk more in depth about my experience or what to expect with yours<BR/>darwinlaughing.livejournal.com<BR/>Take careCatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18033228273412280786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3427274822037608854.post-38725260036712074292007-03-22T12:39:00.000-05:002007-03-22T12:39:00.000-05:00Nicole, I just checked in today and read your terr...Nicole, I just checked in today and read your terrible news. I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your so-much-wanted little Pooter. <BR/><BR/>I had a D&C after I lost my daughter in 2003. I was induced with her and she was born vaginally, but a piece of the placenta remained in my uterus and then caused some hemorrhaging so I had an emergency D&C two weeks later. <BR/><BR/>I was also concerned about the impact the procedure would have on my body. As I already had infertility issues/PCOS and a newly-diagnosed incompetent cervix, I didn't want to do any more damage to that area of my body...but I didn't have much of a choice. <BR/><BR/>The procedure was straightforward. They put me out (not full general anesthesia--apparently I could follow simple directions and make simple answers in the OR--but I didn't remember a thing). I woke up and it was done. It significantly reduced my bleeding afterwards. I had no pain related to it that I can remember, other than a bit of cramping and I'd had that anyway. I managed to get pregnant 7 months later with our son...so it didn't cause any problems for us.<BR/><BR/>I don't blame you for wanting to go that route. I think it would be tortuous to have to wait for it to happen and then go through that process. Something you need to protect as best as you can right now is your mental health, and if a D&C is the best way to do that I think that's what you should do. Good luck. Thinking of you and your hubby.Depressionistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02854279270575644687noreply@blogger.com